When shame becomes your identity | Annalie Howling | #019 Mastering Change
Description
Often what keeps us stuck isn’t the trauma itself but the shame it leaves behind.
This week on Mastering Change, we sit down with Annalie Howling – EMDR therapist, performance coach, and author of Unapologetic – to explore shame as one of trauma’s most corrosive legacies.
Annalie speaks openly about her own history of violence, self-harm, and the masks she wore to stay hidden. She shares why she refuses to offer a step-by-step guide to healing – and how pulling shame “out by the root” is the only way to make room for compassion and lasting change.
In this episode, we explore:
- What shame is – and why it’s so hard to talk about
- How trauma often leaves behind a lingering stain of “I am…” beliefs
- How shame becomes identity
- Why people-pleasing and perfectionism are often trauma responses
- How shame shows up in the body – especially after sexual violence
- The cultural forces that reinforce shame in women
- The difference between guilt and shame – and why self-compassion is the cure
This is a fierce and moving conversation, and, for anyone who’s ever felt shame (that’s all of us), supremely validating.
Moment of Care: This episode discusses sensitive episodes related to trauma, mental health and potential distressing experiences. If you feel triggered at any point, please take a moment to check in with yourself and seek support.
Watch this episode on Youtube: https://tinyurl.com/masteringchangepodcast
Follow us on instagram: www.instagram.com/masterseventsltd
Visit mastersevents.com/oxford-2025 for more details.
United States
